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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26057686">Warmth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LearaBribage/pseuds/LearaBribage'>LearaBribage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the missing pages [17]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist (Live Action), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood &amp; Manga, 青鳥の虛像 Fullmetal Alchemist | Fullmetal Alchemist: Bluebird's Illusion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bow - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Riza "Apparently It Is The Same For Me" Hawkeye, Roy "I Cannot Pine Without Being Angsty" Mustang, That Being, The Author Believes That The FMAB-Related Games Are A Reference To Royai, The Daughter of Dusk is Riza, The Son of Dawn is Roy, Vanessa "OMG You Guys I Ship It Like F---", and</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:56:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,411</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26057686</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LearaBribage/pseuds/LearaBribage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An answer to what Roy was probably thinking in the opening credits of Rain by SID featuring Riza getting jealous over Vanessa and Black Hayate being royai's emotional catharsis - contains angst set to royai levels of UM, WHY THE HELL ARE THEY NOT MARRIED AGAIN. </p><p>That's it, really.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Riza Hawkeye &amp; Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the missing pages [17]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731022</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Warmth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story welcomes the canons of the FMAB-related games, Son of the Dawn and Daughter of the Dusk, written for roymustangfma. If you have not seen it, I link Son of Dawn <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCsV33hAllBZ7qPXhYgYxmyFtGnEKMkuL">here</a> (with English translation) and Daughter of the Dusk <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItL1Rke7ptQ&amp;t=4s">here</a> (there does not exist to be any English translations yet). I really like these games because it respects and closely follows the heart of Arakawa's work. </p><p>In brief, though, the story centres on the complications that arose as a peace treaty is being developed to cease mutual atrocities between Amestris and Aerugo.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“…but thank you for thinking of me, Colonel.”</p><p>Roy stared at the receiver with a frown, certain that the Lieutenant was troubled with the way her breath was caught over the phone. It was not right. She was always so calm and composed, and for her to be this discomfited – there can only be one conclusion.</p><p>Was she threatened? By some power she had no control over?</p><p>The thing was, the few instances that allowed such a thing to even transpire were their unwarranted encounters with the Homunculi. So, suppose we follow the thread of that thought given that the Daisato just separated all of them, then…</p><p>His fists tightened by his sides. Of course, that would have to be it. More than that, there appeared to be a common theme surrounding the Homunculi in their parlay – <em>the Seven Deadly Sins. </em></p><p>Riza and Fuery already encountered Gluttony while they were baiting those who were involved in clandestine operations in the military. He and Havoc fought off Lust before he annihilated her under a basement near the Daisato’s headquarters. Then, supposedly, King Bradley was one, so that makes it three. Given that the Daisato has always been at the helm of Amestris in its 'great'strides for crimson fields, it likely makes him the candidate for Wrath. Three. The Elric brothers then mentioned an enigmatic agent called Envy, and they also said that the Xing prince, Ling Yao, received a philosopher’s stone, thereby hosting the Homunculi Greed. Five.</p><p>That leaves a sloth and a pride. Since the Homunculi established their operations here at Central – the heart of Amestris – unapologetically and deceivingly utilized the military – if the disturbing reports at the Devil’s Nest in Dublith and their realisations after their second encounter with Gluttony proved true – for their purposes, then… could one unknown enemy they’ve yet to meet in this city be <em>Pride</em>?</p><p>Roy shuddered at the thought, but given everything they’ve had to face recently, nothing was impossible. Certainly, that does pose queries for the truth of his analysis as well as the whereabouts of the Homunculus Sloth, but that was not important at the moment.</p><p>Instead, the horror of the possible relationship of this scrutiny and whatever Hughes uncovered before made him pale for a bit. More than that, however, was the kind of threat this <em>Pride</em> posed to make his Queen so timorous, so off-guard.</p><p>He blinked as he stepped out of the phone booth, not expecting the softly falling rain.</p><p><em>Ah, there it was, the rain</em>, he thought with a bitter smile.</p><p>Mocking him, tearing him down, and making him useless when he least expected it. Making him fail all the ones he vowed to protect. Just like Hughes. And now… now…</p><p>It had to be her.</p><p>He blinked again, and let the rain wash his face – surely, with the weight of its fall, it can hide the steady stream of tears falling from his eyes.</p><p>At least – at least like this, he didn’t need to face her like the failure that he was.</p><p>Because, of course, he can feel, but could they even be allowed to express it?</p><p>Why, why was it so hard to be free?</p><p>His throat tightened in anger as he let these thoughts sink with the falling rain. If he cannot show it, then at least the sky can have it for now, so that when the time comes, he can share the same horizon with her – a day that will hold no sorrow anymore, but laughter.</p><p>A day of warmth filled with laughter.</p><p>And it was this thought that took over him as he saw the Lieutenant stride towards the entrance of the Armstrong Estate in a silk purple gown with her hair up with matching accessories.</p><p>He had no other words save for one simple conclusion: she was radiant.</p><p>“Lieutenant,” he called out despite himself – despite, despite the fact that they really shouldn’t be speaking. It’s just that it’s been a while since they last saw each other – the last one being highly irregular as they stood opposite at court when she spoke out against him.</p><p>Supposedly.</p><p>“Colonel,” she greeted tersely, a frown on her face.</p><p>“I didn’t get a chance to explain earlier, but Vanessa—”</p><p>She met his gaze with a pained look. “You shouldn’t. But I don’t know what you mean, and you don’t need to explain.”</p><p>He did not understand.</p><p>But he was certain something was ‘different’ with the Lieutenant who spoke too harshly to him then at court. Because, here, the Lieutenant rebuked him softly with a stern glance and just a few words.</p><p>“I’m not your subordinate anymore,” she said with a sigh, turning away from him. “You understand, right?”</p><p>“Of course,” he whispered regretfully, even though he kept his gaze on her retreating back.</p><p>So why did it hurt much worse to hear those from her now?</p><p>Was he truly right? That it couldn’t have been the Lieutenant then?</p><p>He does not know for certain yet, but all he knew was the ache that made him pause, that made him catch his breath.</p><p>
  <em>Uncertainties seem to follow you and I these days.</em>
</p><p>And yet.</p><p>That dress, it really was beautiful.</p><p><em>It was a dress from Xing, right? </em>he thought, a flush rising over his cheeks. <em>Could it be... that she was thinking of me? </em></p><p>He shook his head.</p><p>But even so, just the thought of it was enough to make his heart swell with warmth. He let his lids fall for a bit – if only to treasure the vision of her in that silk gown.</p><p>What a great and terrible feeling – to be this close, yet unable to even walk beside her.</p><p>A simple pleasure he couldn't even share with her now. </p><p>Truly, it was all that consumed his thoughts as he faced her days after – a confrontation he should have expected given how they’ve been kept apart all this time.</p><p>“Our lives are already forfeit, Colonel,” she said, her voice breaking as she aimed her gun at him. “You know <em>why </em>I do this. Why I went this path with you. It’s my life and my gun for the sake of those that will come after us.”</p><p>Her grip was shaking as she continued, “And it will be yours, if you don’t step away and let me do as he says, Colonel.”</p><p>He shook his head, blinking away the tears quickly before it fell from his eyes. “Not like this, Lieutenant. Not like this. Because if you kill the Crown Prince, it’s your name they will frame when it fails. So, I cannot let you, even if,” he said, his voice faltering a little, “even if I have to burn you!”</p><p>Riza cocked her gun. “Then you leave me no choice!”</p><p>He stepped to the side, blasting every bullet she let go – the sound of it almost matching with the frantic rhythm of his heartbeats.</p><p>
  <em>Master, I cannot fail you, but—</em>
</p><p>He shook his head, gritting his teeth as he manipulated the oxygen in front of him to make a fog of sorts to enable him to escape to an alleyway leading to the main street.</p><p>He will find a way to stop her. There’s always a way.</p><p>It was just his luck, then, that the Sergeant and Hanageno were about after he borrowed Black Hayate earlier. Admittedly, he thought luring the dog to get a conversation with the Lieutenant would at least make things favourable, but… well, he was being too optimistic as usual.</p><p>Nonetheless, as he was able to ask help from Hanageno and his unit, he was able to ignore the rapid beating of his heart against his chest. He gritted his teeth. He cannot let the fatigue get to him right now. </p><p>Right now, what mattered was making sure that the Lieutenant will not sacrifice her conscience. He cannot allow it – not after all the guilt she suffered because of him. So, for her sake and Amestris’s, he cannot allow her to paint the sky red. He cannot allow her to go through something so terrible like Ishval once more.</p><p>And he cannot allow her eyes to blur with sorrow, not again. After all they’ve been through.</p><p>And so, since Hanageno was in a position to save Prince Claudio and Breda deduced the Lieutenant’s location, there was only one thing left to do.</p><p>A Hawk’s Eye never fails.</p><p>Of course.</p><p>Therefore, her field of vision will be the thing to affect, not her. With a snap of his fingers, a column of fire painted the skies red, blocking the Lieutenant’s horizon.</p><p><em>This will not be farewell, Lieutenant, </em>he thought as he snapped his fingers once more to dissolve the water tank that was about to fall on Riza and Black Hayate to a rain of ash.</p><p>When at last the dust settled, the skies cleared once more, and in front of him, there was she. Amid the softly falling ash, there was she, safe and sound, with her flaxen hair glowing brilliantly under the sun.</p><p>“Lieutenant,” he whispered the same time she gazed at him with relief.</p><p>In that moment, he felt his heart flood with a mix of emotions.</p><p>And yet, the strongest one stood out to be – <em>hope. </em></p><p>Hope, he felt was at least the same thing reflected in her eyes.</p><p>“Colonel,” she breathed, and his lips parted – if only he could say everything at once – all, all that his heart wanted to spill, because it felt like an ocean was about to burst out of his chest – but of course, of course, he cannot.</p><p>Not yet.</p><p>Especially since the building was about to collapse – he suspected the Homunculus Envy was behind it after failing to incapacitate him, but as it stands – they need to escape now.</p><p>Given this, he hurried to where she was and knelt before her and Black Hayate to quickly scan them for any injuries he may have caused.</p><p>“I’m not hurt, Colonel,” Riza said over his unspoken thoughts, so he hurriedly fixed her accoutrements instead. “We need to go now.”</p><p>Roy could only nod in response as he took her bag. “You take Hayate – he needs you.”</p><p>Riza nodded back, following him as they ran out of the rooftop. </p><p>“I think I still hit the Prince,” she said behind him.</p><p>He glanced at her over his shoulder. Truthfully, he wanted to hold her hand, but that was inefficient, and he had seen Hayate shivering earlier, so it cannot be.</p><p>“You never miss, Lieutenant,” he answered, “but Hanageno was there to secure the Prince. Breda and the others, they helped me find you. They were all worried about you.” Then he looked ahead of him, whispering, “As was I.”</p><p>“I see. I’m sorry,” she replied, “that I made all of you go through such a horrible thing.”</p><p>“I believe the apology does not rest on your shoulders,” he assured her as they finally got out of the building just as it began to crumble from the inside. He heaved a sigh as they stood together in front of the building as it finally collapsed.</p><p>They looked at each other with shaky breaths before a curl found on its way on his lips when her gazed grew with fondness as she stared back at him. He let his lids fall before he faced her. And since they technically shouldn’t be speaking, he turned his attention towards the dog nestled in her arms. Quietly, he ruffled Hayate’s fur.</p><p>“Hayate was frightened earlier when he couldn’t find you,” he whispered as his fingers brushed against hers over Hayate’s thick fur.</p><p>“As was I,” she whispered back as their fingers briefly intertwined.</p><p>A moment’s reunion before they moved back, warmth passing between them in that brief touch.</p><p>It would have to be enough.</p><p>Roy watched her walk slowly away from him. His fists tightened against his sides, words threatening to spill out of his mouth.</p><p>“Until we meet again,” fell from his lips softly as she continued to walk ahead.</p><p>And since he could not see her eyes, he kept still – waiting, listening for any word that would fall from her lips.</p><p>Then she looked at him over her shoulder, and he caught the furrow of her brows and the way her brown eyes captured the morning sun, and suddenly –</p><p>Suddenly, it was easier to breathe.</p><p>“Of course,” she said, a fond smile resting on her lips before she finally left his sight.</p><p>Ah, he truly hoped his message would reach her in time.</p><p>Hours later, when the uproar over the attempted assassination towards Prince Claudio was blamed on Ishvalan extremists, he was busy discussing how that transpired with Hanageno, Breda, Falman, and Fuery when he spotted the Lieutenant passing by in a nearby street. He excused himself from the discussion before he caught her gaze amid the crowd. </p><p>“They found another convenient excuse, it appears,” she said in greeting when their eyes met again.</p><p>“It is as you say,” he said back, noticing her dog was not with her now. “Is Hayate fine?”</p><p>“I had Mrs. Hughes and Elicia care for him for the meantime since they were nearby,” she explained, her eyes fixed on the cars with the flag of Aerugo on them. Her gaze followed the cars as the security personnel of the crown prince ushered him inside before they slid over to his.</p><p>“You do not look like you’ve eaten,” she remarked as people passed by between them.</p><p>He arched a brow. “Is that so? But yes, you are right. I can manage, though. You needn’t worry,” he assured her, looking away for a bit. “I’m not your superior after all.”</p><p>Riza let out a weary sigh, although he still caught a faint trace of fondness in her tone. “Perhaps,” she said, “but you and I… outside the walls of the military brass, there does exist a sky unfettered by its grasp. I do leave it to you, nonetheless, Colonel.”</p><p>He could only stare at her in quiet surprise. At the risk of a smile breaking out on his face, he settled for a tight-lipped grin. </p><p>“Thank you for thinking of me, nonetheless, Lieutenant,” he whispered as they finally stood beside each other.</p><p>Suddenly, it was as if her lips were near his ear when she whispered back, “I thank you for the same.”</p><p>His cheeks grew incarnadine when she began to leave his side. He could only stare at her in wonder as she disappeared through the crowd. </p><p><em>Seriously</em>, he thought, covering his eyes with a palm, <em>how… how does she do it?</em></p><p>How does she continuously take every thought…</p><p>
  <em>Every part of me?</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>AN HOUR EARLIER</strong>
</p><p>“Lieutenant!”</p><p>Riza arched a brow in surprise as Vanessa – one of Madame Christmas’s agents and the owner of a shop in Central’s business district – walked up to her with a smile.</p><p>Truly, she does not know what to make of her given what the Homunculus Envy told her regarding her relationship with the Colonel. But. That being said, she never did find out the side of his story. It’s just that it was a bit… <em>difficult </em>to ascertain what the truth was these days, despite their efforts.</p><p>“I have a message for you!” the lively woman explained, reaching out from the depths of her satchel. “From Mr. Roy!”</p><p>
  <em>Roy?</em>
</p><p>She tried hard not to mind the uneasiness in her gut as she reached out for the letter. In it, she saw the Colonel’s hasty cursive inked on a military dispatch in his usual concise manner:</p><p>
  <strong> <em>I apologise for my behaviour. It won’t happen again. – Roy Mustang </em> </strong>
</p><p>Riza sighed. “If this was because of the telephone call when he was drunk with the flowers, he needn’t worry. I knew it was a mistake since he apologised already. So, why all this trouble with using an official letter still?”</p><p>Vanessa laughed at her reaction, parting her auburn fringe to the side. “He truly is an idiot, but more so, when it comes to you. Though, that does speak of who he treasures the most, yeah?”</p><p>Riza glanced at her apprehensively, clutching the letter as a flush rose to her cheeks. “Thank you for this.”</p><p>Then she remembered something the Colonel tried to explain earlier about her. “The Colonel mentioned something earlier concerning… concerning you,” she mustered with difficulty as Vanessa smirked at her. “May I please know what happened?”</p><p>Vanessa nodded, leading them to sit by a bench nearby. “The thing was – Mr. Roy got imprisoned after he was framed for an attempted assassination towards the Prince. Supposedly, he was going to be free since Mr. Edward Elrick – a boy alchemist you both know, I’m told – defended him using this letter and other evidence he could find. Despite that, though, he failed because you apparently slaughtered Mr. Roy at court. Is this true?”</p><p>Riza placed a palm over her face. “No, this cannot be – I was occupied with the festival’s logistics, and not to mention, other orders from the head office. I would not – I <em>could not </em>do this to him.”</p><p>The auburn-haired girl patted her shoulder. “I believe you. I only have to see your reaction with his letter to believe it. It’s what Mr. Roy thinks as well, from what another colleague of yours – Second Lieutenant Breda it was, I think – told me about it.”</p><p>She does not know why her cheeks reddened further with what she just divulged. That being said, the fact that was she impersonated was something she needs to investigate on her own - without alerting Pride, if she can. </p><p>“Which is why you shouldn’t fret about me, you know?” Vanessa suddenly said, making Riza stare at her. “Mr. Roy has been very kind to me, and since I’ve been helped by Madame Christmas at the shop, there’s a lot I owe them, so I am really grateful for them. It’s just that there’s a lot that man tends to worry over by himself, right? So as a friend, I’d least like to lend him a helping hand.”</p><p>“What did he ask your help with?” she cannot help asking, even as her words assured her already.</p><p>Her heart felt like it was about to burst with a tide of emotions she might not have the strength to fight against.</p><p>“The flowers,” Vanessa laughed more upon seeing her lean on the bench with more ease. “He ordered a lot, yeah? So, I helped by giving it to all the ladies working for the Madame with his courtesy. It’s just that he erred again by writing ‘Elizabeth’ – your sobriquet, yeah? – in the cards, so I went to his office and gave him an earful for all the misunderstanding he caused.”</p><p>Riza let out a weary sigh, laughing a little. “He is really an idiot.”</p><p>“Which is why it is remarkable how much he relies on you,” the woman said, grinning at her.</p><p>Riza paused to glance at her as she continued, “Lieutenant, you are strong. Just like him. That’s why I understand how difficult it must be, for you two to be so far away from each other. So, if you need someone to talk to, you know you can count on me, yeah? I’d be happy to help you, as well.”</p><p>Riza felt ashamed for feeling resentment over the woman earlier. She really was. She can see more clearly now why the Colonel saw fit to trust her. Given that, it was not too late to return the kindness Vanessa offered to her.</p><p>“I can see that you are strong as well,” she then said with a more genuine smile this time. “I look forward to having you for lunch some time, then, Vanessa. I really appreciate that you took all this time to tell me what happened today.”</p><p>Vanessa returned her smile, her dimples appearing. “It’s no trouble. And I’m really glad, Riza.”</p><p>Then she suddenly jumped, making Riza furrow her brows in concern. “There was this other thing Mr. Roy wanted to give you!” Vanessa explained, rummaging through her bag once more.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>Vanessa pulled a white rose from the bag and gave it to her. “You know what it meant, he said.”</p><p>Riza stared at the flower for a second before reaching for it with a trembling hand. “Thank you, really. And yes.”</p><p>A flush rose over her cheeks as she held the flower. “I do know.”</p><p>In the language of flowers, it can only mean –</p><p>
  <em>I think of you.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So. I was sick and needed a lot of time to recover. And my confidence flunk because, well. It's just been hard. The good news is that we got a new puppy (I wanted to name the shi tzu Hayate, but it was debated gruelly, so I settled it - but won - by having the puppy named 'Ghost' after Jon Snow's direwolf or maybe Jin Sakai of the Ghost of Tsushima, *bow*) so I'm happy. I just really needed a lot of time to gather myself. Plus, I always give a lot to this series, especially when I write in Roy's POV, because I feel him a lot. It's just... exhausting to be in his headspace. </p><p>(And well, I wrote the draft of this by hand first because I really didn't want to hurt my eyes. This makes it the third royai fic I wrote by hand, though, so it means a lot to me. The first was "our love is the sky", and it was followed by "Certainly". So damn. I'm really grateful for Arakawa's work, and I'm really grateful for all of you who still continue to read these delusions I have.) </p><p> <b>That being said, the full meaning of the white rose was something I studied before and will thus discuss here more: basically, if a friend gives you this, they mean to treasure your friendship in the purest way. But if a partner gives you a white rose, either they mean to treasure you forever or apologise humbly. It's a very sincere way to say, "I think of you."</b></p><p> *bow*</p><p>P. S. I wrote this song to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19_yZtBYJxI">Itoshii Hito E</a> by Tainaka Sachi. It really says what Roy and Riza are thinking in this fic.</p><p>Edit on 06 Sept 2020: I edited the summary since I remembered Rain by SID was an opening lol.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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